When “I” Stands in the Way of God’s Design

by Dan O’Deens – November 1,,2021

“Keeping the Main Thing, the Main Thing and the Main Thing is…RELATIONSHIPS

I often say, I am a ‘flaming introvert.’   People who know me agree.  People who have just met me would argue that comment.  I have learned the skill of ‘peopling.’  I have the ability to turn on the switch and look like an extravert.  But trust me…I cannot sustain this pattern for long.

My wife and I love to have people over to the house.  We really do!   But if the party gets too noisy for too long or people linger on ‘potentially’ beyond the ‘expected’ stay, they will look around and see that I am no longer around. They ask my wife, where is Dan?  Oh he went to the bedroom and probably fell asleep.  I have learned to ‘disappear.’

We introverts get our energy in the private.   When we are out in the public, we tend to get drained.   That is no excuse to abandon our need for ONE ANOTHER.  Please do not run from me because I am an introvert.   I need you.   I may not always appear to ‘want’ you….but make no mistake…I NEED YOU!

My friend Rick Warren always says, “We are better together.”  We are!  Scripture says in Genesis 2:18 that ‘it is not good that man should be alone.’

We were made for community.  If you are comfortable and your worldview says you must meet ‘in person’ or prefer to meet online the question is the same for both.   When you gather have you lived in ‘biblical community?’   Whether you are in introvert or an extravert we need relationship with Jesus and with one another.

When ‘my rights’ or “I” stand in the way of authentic biblical community the progression leads to an unhealthy pattern or construct.

Independent (but I like to be alone).

Isolation (but I need to be alone).

Insulation (but I need to protect myself).

Inundation (but I need my ‘me time’…’all the time’).

Infuriation (why am I all alone?).

Incompatible (why do I feel that people run away from me?).

Rather than do life alone….Why not focus and align your life around healthy relationships?  For some of you, you need to get back into the habit of ‘going’ to Church, but don’t just go…get connected.  For those of you who are comfortable in the digital space, that is ok…but it is not ok to do it in isolation.  We need true biblical community.

We all need solid, healthy, transparent relationships!  


Relational approach


Laughter and celebration


Transformational not transactional leadership

Inspire, Inform, Involve One Another

Outreach oriented

Nurture the concept of Love God and Love People in that Order

Spiritual growth (be a doer of the Word)

Homelike (we are a family)

Intentionally connected to a Biblical Community

Promoting excellence in all that we do

Sacrifice (selflessness vs selfishness)


A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another.  John 13:34

Encourage one another and build each other up.  1 Thessalonians 5:11

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.  Hebrews 10:24, 25