Dating Helps

 Proverbs 6:20-23 (NIV)                           

 Tim. 4:12 (NIV)  

When a teen is mature enough to set an example for other believers, then he’s old enough to begin to consider dating.

 LEVELS OF DATING and Friendships

Acquaintance ;  Casual Friendship ; 

Close Friendship ; Intimate Friendship

 When Are You Old Enough To Date?

  1. When your parents agree
  2. When you are aware of both the benefits AND dangers of dating
  3. When you have personally worked out from Scripture a set of dating standards
  4. When you have purposed that you will NOT lower those standards even if it means losing dates.

 ·      EVERY DATE IS A POTENTIAL MATE

 PARENTS NEED TO BE INVOLVED

  1. Eph 6:1-2 – Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.  Honor your father and your mother.
  2. Prov 6:20-23 – 2 Lights in your lives. God placed them in your lives and they might know a bit more about life and marriage and relationships than you do!   I know that is hard to believe.

  

IS SEX AS NORMAL AS OXYGEN, EATING and DRINKING AND SLEEP?   YES! But there is a distinction

  1. the denial of sex does not produce harmful physical effects
  2. the satisfaction of hunger for food or thirst for drink, have no social implications or consequences as does sexual intercourse.
  3. satisfying sexual hunger involves another person.
  4. there is no such thing as ‘unstimulated kissing”  we cannot control what God created to happen naturally.

 THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN THE OTHER

  1. Is he/she a believer?
  2. How is their relationship with God?
  3. Do they have a desire to serve God?
  4. Does he/she get along with mother/father?

 WHAT TO DO NOW

  1. develop your philosophy in harmony with Christian principles and scientific facts
  2. set ups some guidelines for dating and courtship. 
  3. plan dates in advance  (don’t be spontaneous)
  4. group participation dates are healthy – plan them
  5. avoid situations/activities which provoke sexual stimuli
  6. plan well balanced life – you need personal time
  7. avoid long engagements

You make friends not lovers

 Positive Relationships STEPS

  1. make sure your motives are pure
  2. The objectives of the relationship need to be defined upfront.
  3. Openness and good communication are necessary
  4. Honesty must be stressed
  5. Set a proper atmosphere.  Don’t let yourself be caught in an awkward situation
  6. Don’t become trapped by the relationship. Do things with other people.
  7. Strive to be like Christ and build each other up
  8. If you don’t have it, don’t touch it.
  9. Don’t start to get romantically involved.  Don’t start something you cannot righteously satisty.
  10. Pray for the relationship
  11. Let Christ be in control

One should BE what he/she EXPECTS. 

 Parent – Child Communication

  • Stay under parent’s authority.  Rom. 13:1
  • Build strong relationship with your parents
  • KNOW the person you date is a believer, has a proper understanding of parental authority and has strong convictions and is growing in Christ

 1 Thess 4:3-7 – Sexual Purity 

            Purity Rings and Covenant

 Does God have a perfect mate for me?

  1. Be careful of the “compatibility myth”.  No two people are compatible.  All are sinners by nature.
  2. Be careful of thinking that God has a perfect mate for me, therefore I will pray and sit still.  Better:  List the kind of person you want and then get busy becoming that kind of person yourself.
  3. Be careful to think that “God will stop me if it’s not His will”
  4. Be careful of acting after prayer.  God still expects you to follow biblical absolutes.

 HOW TO PREPARE YOURSELF:

  1. develop skills, talents and social graces.
  2. learn biblical love and giving
  3. take proper care of your physical body, your mind, heart